Next year, when you go apple picking, you should get yourself 25 pounds of empires. Then, split them with a friend so you have ~12 pounds of apples.
Next, stare at the apples in wonder, and wonder what exactly you were thinking when you picked 25 pounds of apples.
Finally, dust off your crock pot and make apple butter! I found this recipe here and it was wonderful. No sugar added and no sugar needed!
You'll need about 8 apples, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and unsweetened apple juice.
Wash your apples and dry them well. Don't peel them. Peeling's for sissies. Pull out your trusty cutting board and get to choppin'.
Rachael Ray taught me how to cut apples.
Her way leaves the core intact.
Slice your apple pieces into thin slices.
Dump the sliced apples into your crock pot.
Add 3-4 cups of juice. You want it to just cover the top. You can sub in some water, if you run out of juice or your husband drinks it. The flavor at the end is a little less intense, but still worthy.
Grate in an 1/8 of an inch of fresh nutmeg using your microplane. Use your ruler to measure*.
AH! Nekkid nutmeg!
Add a teaspoon or so of cinnamon and a half teaspoon of ginger.
Squeeze in a tablespoon of lemon juice. Fish out the seeds that fall in.
Stir it up. Pop on the lid.
Go to bed. Read a book. Watch TV. Ignore the crockpot for at least 12 hours.
Then, stir up the apple mush and use a wooden spoon to crack the lid open. This lets some of the water escape and helps thicken up the butter.
Once it's reached the thickness you desire, carefully (it's dang hot!) spoon the butter into the Cuisinart or a blender and puree it. Store the finished butter in mason jar. It looks rustic, and y'all know I like rustic things.
The next morning or immediately after pureeing the apple butter, you should toast English muffins. Smear them with nut butter. Top with apple butter.